


All the broken things

by MegaraDorothy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-05-28 04:30:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15040754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegaraDorothy/pseuds/MegaraDorothy
Summary: The nationals are over, the third years stayed to practice with the team until the end of the school year. Everything should be fine... so how could a drunk driver dare to ruin everything ? One accident, one bad move, and they are here, a teenage boy fighting for his life, a worried family, and a whole volleyball team agonized for their teammate, and a boy secretly in love who just can't go on with his life.an angsty asanoya faniction, with a lot of implied fluffy moments





	1. 1: (Not) out of time

**Author's Note:**

> I am still new with fanfictions, but i am trying my best! I posted it on wattpad too, because i still don't know which one is better, or easier to use.

The gym suddenly felt silent, eight volleyball players sat on the floor, just a few moments ago they were still listening to two of their upperclassmen opposite of them. Only one boy has stood while his concerned shout echoed in everybody's ears.  
\- How do you mean he was in an accident?   
\- Noya, please, calm down - their captain lectured the shortest amongst them.   
\- He was hit by a drunk driver... - a grey haired boy answered. He was pale, even more than usually, and tired, really tired. His father worked in a local hospital as a general surgeon, and last night he was on call. Later he was in the operation room. That is how Sugawara got to know what happened whit their friend while going home from practice the previous night, and that is the reason he couldn't sleep at all.  
\- So he bruised himself, right? That is no reason to completely quite volleyball! He gave up to easily! - The boy whit a blonde strike in his hair answered a little annoyed.  
\- I think you get it wrong - Tanaka touched his arm, but the libero just shake it off.  
\- He got some... more serious injuries - Sugawara tried to explain calmly, but he can't completely hide the crack in his voice.  
\- Oh? He broke his leg? - Now even Nishinoya had a serious look on his face. He looked worried, he started to be worried.   
Except him, whose denial was too strong to accept the truth, everyone else felt the real weight of this conversation, or if not feel, the red eyes of the third years give them a clue.  
Even the always bubbly Hinata sat on the ground with others, holding into Kageyama's jacket, like it was a lifebelt and he was drowning.  
\- Yuu... - the bald guy tried to reach his friend once again.  
\- I'm afraid that this is more serious than a broken leg - Daichi looked on the short boy.  
\- More serious? - His eyes widened as slowly the realization got to him - What exactly?   
The last sentence left his lips just a little louder as a whisper.  
\- Asahi is in coma - the tears reappeared in the vice-captain's eyes.   
The gym nearly exploded now.   
Daichi hugged his crying classmate, trying to comfort Sugawara although the news hurt him just as much, while the others shouted across each other. Questions. Conjectures. Comforting and hopeful words.   
Only Noya, the one who was always the loudest, stayed quiet now, grabbing his best friend's shirt to hold up himself, his legs turned into jelly.  
Have you ever felt your life shake? Have you ever been hit with so much emotional turmoil to the point where everything around you becomes fuzzy and shaken? Nishinoya felt exactly this. His lungs felt tight and for a brief second he couldn’t do anything. He was unable to move, unable to think, unable to even react.  
Tanaka had on himself nearly all of the libero's weight as he supported him to stand.   
\- That is not funny! - Nishinoya's crying voice made everyone silent once again - You are lying!   
He pushed himself away from the spiker holding him and nearly blind from the painful tears in his eyes he ran out of the gym.  
\- Noya! - He heard Daichi shout after him, but he didn't even care to look back at him.  
The gym felt silent once again.   
Everyone, maybe except Tanaka who looked rather terrified, was surprised that the short boy was the one who took the news the worst. Everyone knew that Nishinoya get on well whit the ace, but no one really realized how well. Until now.  
Sugawara blamed himself for not remembering the admiration the second year gave Asahi. He only thought about Daichi being the giant's best friend, so he told the captain before this in the gentlest way. He should know that Nishinoya, whose only talent was the volleyball and he had a chance to get a bright future from it, wouldn't be ready to quit it for someone who didn't mean a lot to him. He should saw it, it was obvious! He should have thought about the spiked haired boy's feelings, and talk whit him alone, support him, but he failed to do it. Now, Nishinoya is out there, upset, shocked, whit tears in his eyes, running god knows where... If something happens to him it will be Suga's fault.  
\-----  
\- Wait! - The small boy ran towards him wildly grinning and nearly falling as he tripped over something.  
\- Be careful! - The third year looked on him whit a shy smile. He was happy that Nishinoya decided to come after him.  
\- Asahi! I want to talk to you! - The boisterous energy was vibrating around him; he had to stop himself from starting to jump in his place. He was so excited! He made a bet that today will be the day, Asahi is still in Karasuno, but they finished in national's, probably the third years won't go to practice anymore, so if anything would go wrong, than they don't have to meet every day.   
On the other hand, he needed to do it today, because otherwise this day would be the saddest, the last time they played together. If he will do it now, then there is a chance it will be the best day of his life. It’s exciting!   
\- Oh, okay. I am listening - the ace answered a little surprised and a bit anxious, what if he did something wrong? His hands started to fidget with the side of his shirt unconsciously.   
\- Since you, eh... - first time in his life Nishinoya's nerves started to give up their calmness, he started to stand from one leg to another, shifting his weight from side to side - You won't come to practice anymore, and I...  
\- Oh, you worried that we will left? - Asahi smiled a little, he remembered how upset his underclassman was when he wanted to quit volleyball, and he wanted him be happy, not to mention the chance to spend more time whit the short boy - We talked whit Daichi and Suga, and we will still join you guys on the practice, so you don't have to worry I won't leave you again.  
Nishinoya's mouth opened in the surprise and in very unusual way he can't get out a world. Asahi suddenly turned to a dark shade of red as he realized what he has said.  
\- Oh my god! I mean all of you! Not just you! - Wait, it sounds like he wouldn't want to stay if it was just for Noya - I mean, I won't leave you either. Oh, it is bad again. I mean... Please don't freak out.  
\- Asahi, calm down - Nishinoya's smile returned to his face just as his confidence, although a nearly invisible pink colored blush appeared on his cheeks - I understand it. I am glad you want to stay.   
A warm feeling blossomed in his chest as the giant gently touched his shoulder.   
He wanted to confess, but it could wait. Now he was happy on his ace's side just the way they were, and he would give anything to not change it. It was perfect, his perfect world a little longer. It will hurt when it ends, even the thought of the graduation made him sick, but now it was good.   
\---  
Nishinoya breathed heavily as he stopped just for a minute before the local hospital. He run there from the school, still wearing his training outfit, although the weather was quite cool this day, but he didn't care just as he didn't care for his nonstop ringing phone or the huge amount of cars that honked on him when he just ran across the road.  
The intensive care is on the third floor, he knew because he was there once when his grandmother had a stroke few years ago.  
\- Is everything alright, sir? - A kind nurse asked him as he entered the busy waiting room.  
He must have looked like a mess, but right now he didn't have time for this, so he left the nurse behind and started to run again.   
His lungs were sore and he was already out of breath, the knee-pads, that weren't meant for running bruised up his legs, but it was nothing comparing to the constant ache and hollow feeling of fear as he get closer and closer to the hospital rooms.  
'Every possible god, please, don’t let me find his name there... It has to be a bad joke' he prayed in himself as he arrived to the right department.   
He ran on the hallway looking on every door, hoping he won't found what he was searching for.  
\- Hey! Who are you? - A deep male voice shouted on him, but he didn't have time to answer. Four more doors.  
Just when his hopes started to grow, there it was.   
Azumane.  
Just a little world on the door, that shattered every last light he had in his heart. It is true.   
Maybe someone would cry on his place, or shout, or faint, but he just stood there, shocked, every thought left his mind. He needed to wake up from this nightmare, right now!   
Trembling, pale hands reached for the handle. They were his hands? It felt like a horror movie, when you already knew that something terrible is behind the doors, and you shout to the naive heroine to not enter the goddamn room, but she still does. Now Nishinoya was the naive one, and he was the shouting voice in his head too.   
The door slowly opened, he could see the end of a bed, someone lying in it under white covers, and an older brunette woman who stared at him whit her familiar cinnamon brown eyes, red from crying.  
He felt like he was enchanted, now there is no way back, he need to see him...  
\- You can't go in there, kid! - A strong hold on his wrist stopped him from entering the room.  
He tried to push it away, but it didn't go anywhere.  
\- LEAVE ME! - He shouted, trying to get into the room.  
The muscular arms have held his waist now, nearly lifting him in order to make him leave, while he was kicking and hitting everything he could reach.  
\- I NEED TO SEE HIM! I need to see Asahi-san! Let me talk to him! - The outside world disappeared for him, it meant nothing, and the only thing he could focus on was the leg, probably Asahi's, which he could see from his spot.  
He didn't realize the tears before, just when his sight got all blurry from them.  
\- Put me down! Asahi!   
\- Who are you? - The female from before blocked his sight when she stopped between him and the bed.  
That helped him to get a little saner, realizing that he is not alone. The woman have long brunette hair, whit few gray mops in it, small wrinkles on her face, she had to be in her fifties. She was tall, unusually tall for a female and have a quite muscular built body, she looked elegant in her dark brown woman's suit, but her face give her out that she didn't slept for a while and probably cried a lot. But her eyes, her eyes were Asahi's, and that twisted the libero's stomach in a bad way.  
\- Nishinoya - he answered quietly, he was ashamed of his behavior. This woman was probably the spiker's mum, so the boy have absolutely no right to act like this, he was no one for the ace, just some schoolmate, while his mum was having the worst day of her life.  
\- The libero - a small smile without any happiness appeared on her face - He could come in. My son would be happy to have him on his side, he means a lot to him.


	2. 2: The first time seeing him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Nishinoya sees Asahi in the hospital.  
> The first time Nishinoya met Asahi.

There are moments in life, when you already know that something happened, but you can deny it until they give you a proof. Why do people even need proof? Wouldn’t it be better if they could just pretend like nothing bad happened?  
Nishinoya was now free to enter the hospital room, but at this point it hit him what exactly is in there, if he goes in, then everything will become real. He can’t act like it is just a rumor, and Asahi went somewhere for holidays.  
His legs were shaking and it felt like his heart was beating in his throat, hands wet from perspire. There wasn’t enough oxygen around him in the air full of the antiseptic smell.  
One step, then another.  
It was enough and he was already in the room, nothing blocked his sight anymore.  
Asahi.  
He was the only thought in his brain.  
Asahi.  
ASAHI.  
The whole word stopped, there was nothing more important than the injured body on the hospital bed and the slow breathing sounds.  
His ace was lying unconsciously between white sheets, right leg in plaster all up till his thigh, left also in it ‘just’ to under his knees. The short boy couldn’t see his torso because of the blanket, but his forearms, which could be seen under the sleeves of light blue hospital gown, were fully bandaged. Only his fingers were untouched, and now Nishinoya felt like he just needed to feel it, feel his skin, to make sure he is still warm and alive, and this is just a phase, everything will be alright.  
He did a few wobbly steps, and reached out, their fingers slightly brushing against each other.  
Nishinoya took one last, shaky breath that threatened to became a sob before he forced himself to take a look on his face. There was a bandage on his head, hair shaved off in a small circle around the center of the white gauzes. One of his eyes was swelled up and had a dark purple color.  
His angel like face covered in bruises, a tube in his mouth, and there were so many wires, that even just looking on them made the libero want to vomit.  
The only sound in the room was the constant beeping from a machine, a heartbeat; he used it to calm himself. Asahi is alive, this isn’t permanent.  
Nishinoya glanced at the paper hanging on the bed.  
There were a lot’s of words, some he understood and some were completely foreign.  
_Basal skull fracture_  
_pneumothorax_  
_ACL tear_  
_graze_  
_tibial fracture_  
_rib fracture_  
Nishinoya felt a squeeze around his heart, and his stomach was aching.  
He can’t… He just can’t! That’s a really bad dream and he will wake up in his bed, and then he is going to confess, he will do everything he was procrastinating, just let this whole thing be a bad dream! They were supposed to have time!  
\- Asahi – his voice wasn’t louder than a whisper.  
The tears burned his eyes, as he held his upperclassman’s hand too tight for it being just a normal touch, but he won’t cry! No, there is no reason for tears yet.  
\- He will wake up, he will be alright – his mind was tense like he could force his will on the development of the future and make the ace, his ace, to open his eyes – Asahi you will make it! I know you will be okay.  
Asahi’s mum touched his hand to ease the grip around her son’s fingers.  
 –Thank you - her smile was lacking every drop of happiness – He told me that you would never give up on him. Asahi…  
Her voice cracked, but she continued after a little pause.  
\- He had a bunch of surgeries, and he is not out of the woods yet, but he is alive – the tears faded her eyes – They told us to prepare for the worst, but I know it won’t happen. Just keep believing in him, so please…  
She never finished, but Noya understood it. He nodded, and brushed the wetness from his face with determination. He won’t cry. Asahi will be alright.

 

 

 _The frown on the short boy’s face became nearly constant._  
_\- Still can’t remember? – Tanaka, also a first year just like Nishinoya and instant friend of the libero because of their matching personalities, gave him a water bottle._  
_-Nah – he shook his head while brushing away the sweat on his forehead with his already soaked shirt._  
_Shit, this practice was really hard, coach Ukai didn’t go easy on them although it was only their first week in high school._  
_\- Are you sure you know him? – Another first year with really sleepy expression joined their conversation._  
_\- If Noya says he knows Azumane-senpai then he sure does!_  
_Every first year was involved in this argument since yesterday, after the first time they met the older teammates Nishinoya told them how familiar is the amazing second year spiker, who although is only in his second year is already the ace of the team._  
_The short boy even wanted to ask Azumane-senpai himself, but the older male left right after the practice, and while there he was really concentrated on the game, only talked a little whit his fellow second years, the grey haired setter and Sawamura-senpai, another regular who, even Nishinoya had to admit, had amazing receives._  
_\- He is amazing! Why I can’t remember? – He watched as Sugawara-senpai set the ball for the spiker._  
_\- Maybe try to imagine him without beard- Tanaka helped him out._  
_The libero looked on the face of the mentioned player, while he hit, trying really hard to visualize the younger version of him. He concentrated so hard, that didn’t catch the exact moment as a first year who supposed to receive the ball on the other side of the net failed to properly positioning his hand under the powerful hit, and the ball bounced from him to the exact way Nishinoya was standing. He only saw the panicked eyes that locked with his as Azumane-senpai followed the way of the ball, and that was the moment when Nishinoya remembered how they met, just a second before the ball sent him flying on the floor._  
_The team gathered around the libero, everyone asking about his well being, but he couldn’t help himself just smile._  
_\- Maybe concussion – the captain, Hiroki Kurokawa-senpai, guessed looking on the happy face of the first year._  
_\- Oh! I am sorry! I… Are you alright? Nurse! I will take you to nurse! Shit, I killed a first year!? – A panicked spiker arrived, and now was Nishinoya even more sure who he was. He grew his hair, have bread, and a lot more muscles, but this amazing play with too much worry couldn’t be anyone else._  
_\- Asahi, calm down, he is smiling – the setter tried to comfort the nearly crying ace._  
_\- Yup! You broke my finger! – Nishinoya looked on him enthusiastic, and the next moment everyone could witnessed as Azumane-senpai turned to an unhealthy shade of white._  
_\- No! Not now. In junior high, two years ago. It wasn’t exactly you, it was just a really powerful hit and I wasn’t ready for it – Nishinoya was fast to explain. He didn’t added that he was actually too amazed about his power and how good he can play to pay attention, and he clearly remember a thought snapping in his mind about how **good he looked** while spiking before a ball came into him and he was too slow to react. The thing after it became rather funny, as the game stopped; he was holding his injured hand where a finger stood in a really non-physiological way and the throbbing pain radiated from it. The next thing he remembered is that he was lifted from the ground surrounded by a lot of uncomprehending shouting and the spiker ran with him to the nurse while constantly apologizing. After this he couldn’t reenter the game because of his finger he had to go to a hospital for X-ray, but he heard from his teammates that the spiker was so worried that he had to be pulled out of the game too._  
_\- The libero from Chidoriyama – the older male looked a little calmer._  
_\- Azumane-senpai is the awesome spiker from Seikodai!_  
_The praised boy’s face became crimson as he muttered something like “Asahi is enough”._  
_\- Asahi-senpai! – Nishinoya cheered with stars in his eyes, which made the red color only deeper._  
_\- You will cause him a nosebleed – Tanaka’s bald head come too close to the libero’s ears as he whispered in it whit a grin._  
_\- You don’t… ugh, no need to call me senpai._  
_\-  YOU TWO! I got it, you have lots of chatting to do, but STOP IT. WE HAVE A GODDAMN SPORT TO PLAY!_  
_A loud shout from the couch ended their conversation, leaving Asahi blushed till the tip of his ears, and Nishinoya slightly disturbed._  
_\- He is amazing – the libero sighted._  
_\- He is a talented mess – Tanaka pushed him playfully while laughing on the dumb grin on the short boy’s lips._  
_-  I want to play with him!_  
_\- Do you already have a crush on him, or will you wait till the next conversation?_  
_Nishinoya’s face turned just as red as Asahi’s have a few minutes before._  
_\- I don’t have a crush! He is a male… I like girls, like Kiyoko-sama!_  
  
It was already 1 am, but Nishinoya couldn’t sleep. His brain just didn’t want to finish thinking about Asahi. Okay, like this it was nothing new, Asahi was in his mind 24/7 already, but tonight was different.  
Asahi was allowed to have visitors only for 5 minute at once, but after that time was over Nishinoya spent nearly two hours with the spiker's mom in the hospital anxiously waiting if anything changes untill Dr. Sugawara, Suga’s dad, found him. He can’t remember the last time he was quiet and awake in the same time that long.  
He was scolded for running of and scaring everyone, but that’s all. By the time when his mother arrived to take the libero home, Mrs.Azumane have filled out papers to make it possible for Noya to come back, saying his son needs strong friends.  
Otherwise he maybe wouldn’t even left. Even this way his mother had to push him out of the hospital to make him leave Asahi.  
The rest of the day his parents were constantly asking how he was, but didn’t bother him longer, unlike the two really energetic younger brothers and the only four year old sister who could easily win a competition of the loudest child in history.  
The permanent nagging was for the best after all, Nishinoya realized when he was finally alone in his room, and the worry of the day fall on him.  Now there was nothing that could make him forget the broken body of the ace, the tubes, and the wires, the way his face swelled up, the smell of antiseptics in the room, his mother’s red eyes.  
Nishinoya buried his head in the pillow, but it didn’t end the too real pictures. What if something happens at night? He is not stable enough. What if he dies? He didn’t know yet how much he means for Nishinoya, and no, the libero didn’t want to live in a world without him.  
A panic slowly sat on his chest making it difficult to breath. What if he dies? The tears of fear burned his eyes, so he bit in his hand with force, leaving a red mark in the shape of a half-moon. He had to be strong. He should have walk Asahi home yesterday. Could he prevent it? Could he done anything that would have made a difference?  
A beeping sound from his mobile on the other side of the room broke the silence.  
What if it’s about Asahi? Is it worse? Or did he wake up?  
Nishinoya fell across his school bag in the hurry to get the phone, hitting his already bruised knees, but he gathered himself up in a record time.  
It was only an SMS from Ryuu; he was happy and disappointed in the same time.  
  
1:09  
Ryuu:  Are you ok? U never sleep when frustrated  
  
He was clearly Noya’s best friend, and although the short boy knew that Ryuu rarely slept at this time, it still meant a lot to him that he thought about him.  
  
Yuu: I ain’t the one in the hospital

Ryuu: worse than I thought. wait 15 minutes

Yuu: Why?  
  
When there was no answer Nishinoya sent one more question mark, but Ryuu was still silent.  
After approximately 20 minutes a loud scratching disturbed the libero’s worried thoughts.  
\- What the heck? – He nearly shouted out seeing the bald head popping up in his window.  
\- Shh – Tanaka gesticulated as the libero opened the glass and the spiker threw his bag inside, then climbed after it.  
\- What are you doing here?  
\- Saving my damsel in distress – he grinned on his friend.  
\- I AM NOT … - Nishinoya started to shout on him, but Tanaka shut his mouth with his hand.  
\- Quiet! By the way I know, because if you were my damsel then you wouldn’t be head over heels for somebody else.  
The libero knew he was talking about Asahi, although normally he would fight back denying it, but now that was enough to sadden him again.  
Tanaka friendly pushed his shoulder when he saw the pained expression.  
\- Cheer up, he will be alright, he is the strongest in our team.  
\- I know, just… - his voice broke a little but then returned furious – I hate him. I hate him with every cell in my body.  
\- Who? Asahi-san? – The bald boy sounded confused.  
\- What? NO! The driver! How could it be more important to drink than Asahi? He didn’t deserve that! He is special, and now… you didn’t see him… Ryuu, how could that happened? Why him?  
The tears were back, and now that his best friend was there, hugging him closely it was even harder to fight them back.  
\-  I brought Garigari-kun popsicles, soda, chocolate and snacks, and even a can of beer, some action movies and a game. I bought them as a “Yuu first aid kit” for after their graduation, but I think you could use it now – Tanaka was ranting while hugging his best friend. He have never seen Nishinoya in a state like this and didn’t knew what to say, but he was doing something good considering the grateful look the brunette gave him and a quietly muttered “Thank you”.


	3. 3:This is what friends are for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Tanaka being the best bro in every situation, and some family stuff

 Nishinoya woke up curled in a ball on the floor, cuddling himself to a pillow. He was surrounded by tons of empty bottles and packages, while Ryuu snored taking up the entire place on the bed, where, Nishinoya clearly remembered, he fell asleep too.  
His room wasn’t quite small, but it was a disaster on its own with every possible surface cowered under ton’s of practice clothes, kneepads, unfinished homework, poor attempts of drawings, videogames, unwashed bowls in which he sneaked food in there, and printed photos waiting to join the thousand other already on the wall. Nobody clearly remembered the color of the walls in the room of the oldest Nishinoya kid, since he got a hobby of printing out and putting everything on it that could make him interested and the libero was clearly a person who could get excited about nearly anything. As a consequence of it his room was full of photos about his friends, school activity, volleyball players and tactics, memes, video games and anime characters, American bands, simply everything that even once got his attention.  
One glance on the frog shaped clock he inherited from his cousin was enough to realize a mistake they made.  
\- Ryuu!! We slept in!  
The loud shout ended the bald boy’s dreams immediately.  
\- What? – He jumped on his foot clearly confused from the fast wakening – What happened? What’s the time?  
\- We have to leave in ten! Get ready! –Nishinoya ordered as he got rid of his pajama.  
\- Shit! Daichi will kill us! – The thought of the captain who never gone easy on the members late for morning practice was enough to make Tanaka join the hurry.  
He was nearly ready when a loud din of a hairspray can landing on the floor startled him. He looked over his shoulder only to find his best friend with half done hair staring back shocked, both of his arms hugging his own torso, his hands grabbing on the upper arms. Nishinoya’s amber eyes widened and shined with scared questions in them.  
\- Asahi… It wasn’t a dream…  
Tanaka had to do only a few steps to be next to his best friend, an arm put on the libero’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. He couldn’t do anything effective and it annoyed him more than it should.  
\- My phone – Nishinoya composed himself as he shot out to rummage his whole room for the appliance. Asahi’s mother asked for his number a night before and promised to inform him if anything changes.  
When he finally found his mobile he frantically pushed the button on the side, but the monitor refused to light up. He forgot to recharge it a night before!  
\- Fuck it – a loud curse escaped his mouth as he threw away his phone in frustration.  
\- Hey – Tanaka might be the most aggressive and intolerant member of the Karasuno’s volleyball team, but he was weirdly patient and carrying for his short friend – We should go to practice. I am sure Suga will know if anything happened.  
A new determination settled in Nishinoya.  
\- You are right – he jumped up, throwing the traitor phone and a charger next to his practice stuff so he could plug it in at the club room.  
  
Tanaka suddenly appearing after their oldest child got upset was so common, that the Nishinoya parents didn’t even question his presents in their kitchen running out of Yuu’s bedroom when he clearly wasn’t there last night. Kuniko, the libero’s even shorter mother, just put out another sandwich, which they used to buy premade, for him too without any questions.  


 

\- Noya! Yours!  
Damn it. Noya was perfectly aware that this ball was his, not even a difficult one; he just… didn’t see it in time.  
The ball bounced off the floor right next to his hand for so many times now under just one practice that he couldn’t even count it.  
He slammed his hand on the wooden parquet, but immediately regretted it as the stabbing pain radiated inside his bones.  
\- That’s enough, Nishinoya, we have to talk. Others continue to practice – Ukai-san’s voice echoed in the gym, followed by uneasy silence.  
Everyone knew that their libero sucked this day, but they remembered his runaway just a day before, so there was no way anyone would mention it. After all, every player was affected by the events, the net seemed just a little higher, the ball heavier and faster, their movies more difficult than a few days before.    
Nishinoya get up, nursing his aching hand close to himself and left the court defeated.  
Ukai took him in the club room to talk privately. Once there, he made the boy sit down, and then took a place right next to him.  
\- Look, I know that the thing that happened to Azumane is terrible, but I can’t let you attend practice in this mental state. I know people react differently, and it could affected you more than the others, so if you want I’m sure Takeda-sensei could get you an appointment at the school’s psychiatrist.  
\- I don’t need one – nobody could blame Nishinoya if his answer was a bit harsher than he should have allowed himself with a couch – I can play! I am not crazy! Why is it so bad that I am worried for my teammate? Isn’t this what teammates are for?  
\- Nishinoya, what you are doing is dangerous. I won’t let you go back to the court. Look at yourself, you keep messing up your digs, it looks like you were throwing yourself on the floor without any technique or success. How many floor burns and bruises do you get just today? You whole body looks like somebody have beaten you up. I didn’t even mention that you hurtled into Hinata, although he clearly said it was his ball. We have to do something, you can’t play like this.  
The libero stayed quiet as the thoughts raced in his head. He was a good player, sometimes even an awesome one he knew it, but how could he possibly just let it go and act normal? Is he supposed to just erase the thought off of his brain? It’s not going to happen, he can’t just forget about Asahi.  Asahi, who is lying in a hospital bed, fighting and suffering.  
A polite knock on the door turned their attention to where Daichi and Suga were just about to enter.  
\- Coach, can we try to talk with him? – The captain looked messier than before, when he was supposed to be the one who lead the team. The façade was falling off, and it made painfully clear that he isn’t older than the others.  
\- It might help – Ukai nodded, giving a last squeeze to Nishinoya’s shoulder and left the room.  
As soon as they were alone, Suga practically fell on the chair next to the libero and sunk in himself. Pale hands covered his tired eyes.  
\- I am sorry – the vice-captain sighted, not even looking up – I should have told you in private, I just…  
Daichi rubbed little comforting circles in his classmate’s back, right next to his spine preventing him from crying again. After a short silence the black haired boy continued.  
\- Believe me; we have a really hard time too, not just you. But every sport can be dangerous, especially volleyball if you can’t keep your head in the game. This team doesn’t need more tragedy.  
Nishinoya just half-heartedly listened to his upperclassmen’s speech, but it made more obvious the fact that his decision is the right one. He couldn’t leave his worry for Asahi outside of the court if it took over his every thought.  
\- I won’t come to practice anymore.  
His voice was low, but steady.  
\- What? -  Sugawara’s hand fell down next to him instantly; he looked almost frightened – Why?  
\- I will rejoin as soon as Asahi…  
\- Nishinoya – the heavy sight leaving the grey haired boy’s lips sounded broken – even if Asahi does wake up…  
If. He really said if. If Asahi wakes up. The world was spinning around Nishinoya, anger rising inside of him with every breath he took.  
\- What are you talking about? WHEN Asahi wakes up we WILL play again! – Now he was shouting but he couldn’t care enough about their status as upperclassmen to keep himself back.  
\- Noya, you have bright future before you with volleyball. Asahi wouldn’t want you to throw it away – Daichi tried to calm him down, but it was only oil on the fire of his anger.  
The libero’s fingers curled in a fist as an effort to keep him sane, but it was too late, angry tears filled his eyes, even more upsetting him.  
\- I am not fucking throwing it away. I will rejoin the practice, when…  
\- You really don’t understand? – Sugawara was shouting too, he looked like he was ready to cry, but his eyes were red and sore, there wasn’t any more tears left – Even if Asahi survives this, what can’t be guaranteed; he probably won’t be the same! Don’t be stupid and throw away your future! Asahi won’t play volleyball…  
\- SHUT UP! – Something in Nishinoya broke as he showed the vice-captain away from himself – How can you say this?! You were supposed to be his friend!  
\- Nishinoya! Enough! – Daichi stood between them to protect Sugawara from the furious brunette.  
\- What is going on there? – Tanaka entered the club room to end the loud arguing just in time to catch the libero trying to run away.  
He spread his hands, so his best friend could hang on him, hugging with such a force that it pushed the air from his lungs.  
The sobs coming from the shortest volleyball player were heartbreaking, his whole body was trembling, and heavy tears watered Tanaka’s shirt.  
\- What did you say to him? – The bald boy looked up on the third years, but seeing his friend in such a state made his eyes become thinner in suspicions.  
-They said he will die! Ryuu… He won’t die! – Nishinoya wept, still pressing himself to Tanaka.  
The whole team was gathering around them already, looking confused on the vice captain with shocked and teary face, Daichi half hugging him his expression changing from angry to worried, while the libero tried to hide his face and cried.  


 

 _\- He is a fucking scaredy cat! And a liar! A quitter!_  
Nishinoya was cursing loudly while making frustrated circles in his room like a caged wildcat.  
Tanaka, who was lying in the libero’s bed, put down the game he was playing on the PSP.  
\- It sucks bro, but we can play without him!  
The short boy looked with such an intense furry that it nearly made him appear dangerous. Nearly.  
\- I can’t and I won’t!  
Slowly the other male rose himself in a sitting position, hand running across his nearly bald head.  
\- You said it before too, but you can’t actually mean it.  
\- I freaking do! Volleyball is not the same without Asahi!  
Nishinoya was waiting for this stupid _day for a month, so he could rejoin the team. And the first thing he had to found out was that_ stupid _Asahi quit the club with some really_ stupid _reasons, and even after the libero_ stupidly _made himself suspended to get the_ stupid _ace’s_ stupid _ass back, he still refused. How on earth he wouldn’t be angry?_  
\- What is so special about him? – Tanaka raised one of his eyebrows questioningly – I mean I want him back too, he is an amazing player, but what you are doing is an absolutely next level.  
\- Volleyball isn’t the same without him – Nishinoya repeated himself.  
\- You played before you met him. Do the same.  
\- I can’t. I would just miss him. Coward. He gave up on me! On the team!  
Tanaka tilted his head a little, considering his best friend’s words.  
\- What do you like about playing with him so much?  
\- Eh? – Nishinoya absently bit on his thumb while thinking – He is amazing, a good player. But sometimes so shy I want to punch him, but at the same time he is reliable, and strong, he makes me feel like I am unstoppable. Oh, and he compliments me and he has those gentle smiles, it is SOOO good, Ryuu! Oh and when he scores it is all bang, and whoosh, and he looks freaking strong! He is strong. Yeah. And uhm… I know! He have a BODY of an Ace, he is made for this we can’t play without an ace. Damn man! Have you seen his abs? I mean Ryuu… I THINK I COULD PLAY CHESS ON THEM!  
An evil smirk appeared on the spiker’s face as he leaned closer to the libero.  
\- You could have just said that you have a crush on him.  
\- WHAT? Are you gone mad, bro? He is a guy!  
 A slight blush colored the brunette’s cheeks. He can’t be into Asahi, he has a dick _! Nishinoya was never into those things before, of course there were male’s who he adored but only because they were so cool! It would be unnatural to think otherwise._  
\- You know, that you can be attracted to men, right? Like, Daichi and Suga are gay too…  
\- I am not!  I like girl’s uniform, cuteness and Kiyoko!  
\- Okay, I believe you bro – there was something sly in the spiker’s eyes, but the libero was too much into his own thoughts to notice it - But Noya, tell me what color are Asahi's eyes?  
\- Why...Why is that important? - The libero stuttered, pretty and meaningful brown orbs flashing into his mind.  
\- Just tell me - a knowing smirk spread across Tanaka's face, he already felt the victory.  
Nishinoya thought about it a little, trying to describe those eyes, but one simple world could not be enough for something that is so beautiful, constantly changing and alive.  
\- I can't say it for sure – He started slowly when he finally organized his thoughts enough for making a decent sentence - You know... It is brown, but when we are inside it is usually like chocolate, in good lightening it is like cinnamon and when the sun shines in it then more like caramel…  
This wasn’t the most accurate way to talk about it, and Nishinoya wasn’t somebody to do half work, so he wanted to use fancy words, ones that could give back the exact shade of those soft brown gems, and the way the light shone against them could make anyone feel safe and calm. Specks of gold and dark, almost black color sparkling inside of them, reminding him of the universe. Asahi had warm and kind eyes, sometimes even pretty, and although Nishinoya had to admit it, it still didn’t mean that he was into him, right? He was just fair enough to give him credit for something he owned.  
\- And what color are Kinnoshita's eyes?  
\- Ugh... - Nishinoya pouted a little when he realized the trap he walked in - I dunno... Black? Like you know the eye color of every member!

 _\- I can't tell anyone’s from the team the way you talked about Asahi-san’s, cause I haven't fall for none of them!_  
Yeah, Asahi may be special for him, but it didn’t mean he is gay!  
\- I like girls…  
Tanaka changed his behavior to the kind and supporting which he only used with Nishinoya and sometimes Saeko.  
\- You can like both, you know… You can be bisexual.  
\- Bye sexual? – Nishinoya looked confused.  
-Bisexual, the people who like boys and girls. But this is perfectly normal, Saeko told me about it when she brought home a girl.  
\- I can like both? Kiyoko and Asahi-san?  
\- You are the only one who knows what you can or cannot like – Tanaka acted jokingly like an old master, which earned him a hit with a pillow.  
Nishinoya looked on a picture on his wall that he take of the now third years nearly half a year ago, ignoring the captain and the vice-captain only focusing on Kiyoko and Asahi.  
\- It is the long hair – he mumbled to himself – The long hair confuses me…  
But had to turn away his gaze flustered in the moment he caught himself checking out Asahi’s muscles.

 Kuniko Nishinoya was a really short women who was working as a nursery school teacher, the most innocent looking woman on the whole word, but no one could say that she didn’t do everything she could for her family, she was a human form of a mother bear, going into fight for her kids without thinking, doing everything to make them happy, but when the opponent is the Time and Fate, she felt helpless. The same was true for her husband, Mikoto, an office worker. He might not have a lot of time for the family, but he was working hard for them, and when he got a call from Tanaka that his oldest son got a break down after practice, he took a day of without questions, rushed to pick him up.  
\- Thank you for taking care of him, Ryuu-kun – the blonde haired man nodded, when he found his son sitting in the changing room with his best friend.  
Nishinoya have already composed himself, just his anger towards the third years remained.  
\- Sorry dad…  
\- Don’t mind! That was enough school for one day, come on!  
The libero smiled on his father with release as he followed him to their old Opel.  
\- It was Azumane-kun, the one with the beard, right? – the older man asked as they left the school’s territory.  
\- Yeah – Noya looked out of the window, refusing to show his pained expression.  
\- You two had a sleep over a few months ago, I remember him.  You sure are really close…  
\- We are.  
\- Want to talk about it? – his father glanced on the libero.  
\- Not really…  
The drive continued in silence until something strange caught Nishinoya’s attention, as they didn’t turn left where they should have in order to go home.  
\- Dad, you missed…!  
\- No, no – he smiled, but his hand was tapping nervously on the wheel – I just thought you would want to visit your friend.  
They parked before the hospital a few moments later, now actually talking with the receptionist and announcing their visitation. Okay, it was mostly Nishinoya’s father who did it while the libero was standing behind, shifting his weight from one leg to another.  
Only five minutes were allowed for the visitors in the intensive care, but it was already enough for the boy. He practically ran into the room as soon as he had a chance, leaving his father behind waiting.  
There wasn’t anyone else in there, just Asahi’s unconscious body.  
\- Hi, Asahi-san – he greeted, taking the opportunity to gently smooth his face – You sure are wondering why I am here so early. I had a fight with Suga-san and Daichi-san. I am sorry; you wouldn’t like me behaving like this.  
The constant sound of breathing calmed his nerves and the touch of his warm skin tangled under his fingers.  
Nishinoya leaned down to place his forehead against Asahi’s, and in this moment he couldn’t care less if anyone sees them.  
\- I miss you, I really miss you. Everything is a mess without you.  
He smiled to himself bitterly, placing a fast peck between the spiker’s eyebrows.  
\- I should have told you. I should have told you I love you before this happened. Please come back! – He pledged.  
If it was a story then Asahi would wake up after his confession.  
He was childish and maybe over dramatic, like the kind of people he laughed about in films, but he couldn’t help himself holding his breath a few moments, waiting for a miracle that never came.  
He let go of the still unmoving body with a last squeeze of his fingers.  
\- Don’t give up – he whispered, not even knowing if it was meant for Asahi or himself.  
He stepped out of the hospital room, and nearly run into the mother of the patient.  
\- Nishinoya-kun? What a surprise this early! Although I already chatted with your father – she greeted with a warm smile but powerful gaze.  
\- Yeah, I had some trouble in the school – the libero scratched his nape under the uncomfortable stare that felt like she was seeing his every thought.  
\- Mikoto-san already told me about it, I am sorry for the argument, but… Thank you for being there and worrying!  
\- I couldn’t help it even if I didn’t want to, I can’t not worry for him – Nishinoya felt the heat in his face. Did he tell too much? Would they guess his feelings?  
\- I am happy Asahi has friends like you – Mrs. Azumane glanced at him with a strange undertone – He is pretty shy.  
\- Yeah, I know – he smiled to himself remembering the ace getting flustered about small things.  
\- Yet he has a friend like you! You are really strong; it is not a complication that you two have such different personalities?  
 – But he is strong too! He is the best player in our team, and we can always count on him. He is the Ace! – Nishinoya was enthusiastic to compliment Asahi and he took every opportunity to do so.  
\- It sounds like you are in a fan club of our Asa-chan – a deep voice next to him startled the libero.  
There was standing a man, somewhere in his late-thirties with a stature next to which Asahi would look small. He was tall and muscular, with longer beard and tanned skin. His hair was just a little darker than the Ace’s, but long enough to wear it in a pony tail reaching till his scapula, it was obvious he was a family member, just his green eyes stood out oddly considering the dark orbs of Asahi and his mother.  
\- Mino! – Mrs. Azumane stood up to hug the male; she looked fragile next to him.  
\- How is Asa-chan? I came as fast as I could. I left Ayame with the kids, Kou’s flight was deleted but he will come with Maria as soon as they can.  
Nishinoya felt himself as an intruder in this family meeting while Mrs. Azumane told Mino about Asahi’s injuries, and that he is stable for now, then went inside the room for the limited time visitation.  
\- Who are they? – The tall man turned his attention to the libero and his father with a friendly smile, when they came out of the room.  
\- Nishinoya Mikoto and Nishinoya Yuu – the woman introduced them.  
The man took a closer look on the short boy, who felt himself as a primary school kid next to this giant.  
\- He is the famous Noya? – The man giggled to himself – Asa-chan can break him!  
The libero frowned, but before he or his father could reply the older woman hit the man.  
\- Mino! Behave!  
Mino gave a loving kiss on the forehead of Mrs. Azumane.  
\- Asa-chan will be alright, I know. You don’t have to worry.  
That seemed to calm down the mother.  
\- Nishinoya-kun, thank you for being there – the man reached out to tap the lot smaller boy’s head – And sorry for my comment. By the way, I am Azumane Minoru, Asahi’s brother. Call me Mino.  
\- Brother? – Nishinoya repeated in awe. The man seemed about twenty years older than his teammate, more like a dad or an uncle.  
\- I am little old for him, aren’t I? – He laughed – My beard gives me a few years, but yes, I am twice his age. He was a late accident child.  
\- You were the accident child, he was a surprise – their mother interrupted like they already had this teasing arguing thousand times before.  
\- Mom, you were 25 when I was born, but 43 when he. Mine sounds a more reasonable age.  
\- Whatever makes you sleep better – she added with a tired smile, which erased every edge of the conversation, making it clear that they didn’t want to be mean; it was just a loving tease.  
Nishinoya already liked them, only wished if he could have met this family in a better situation, with Asahi on his side.  
  
The rest of the day he spent trying to avert his thoughts, so he watched a few over the top action movies and even played for some hours, but unconsciously left out everything that had anything to do with pedestrians getting hit by a car.  
When his mother arrived home he joined her in preparing their late lunch, and agreed to go back to the hospital after they eat. The afternoon was the calmest it could be with four kids, the libero was chopping vegetables while his siblings watched cartoons in the living room, and it was the only time of the day when they weren’t running around with boisterous energy.  
Kuniko gave a gentle kiss on Yuu’s forehead as a thank you when the libero finished with the vegetables.  
\- Darling, can you bring me grandma’s yellow pan? – She asked as he wiped her hand in the green apron.  
-  Of course! – He grinned and ran to get a chair.  
Pans were on the top shelf, what meant that nobody from the Nishinoya family could reach it without help.  
He was already balancing himself on the shelf, stretching himself to get what his mother asked him to, when he heard the family’s phone ringing.  
\- Mom! Phone! – He shouted without thinking and then continued with his task.  
\- Got it! – He shouted, but went quiet as soon as he saw the serious look on his mother’s face.  
She gave him a side eyed look full off worry.  
\- Yes, thank you for the call. We will be on our way in a few minutes.  
The call ended, and Kuniko turned around with a sight.  
\- Yuu, go, get changed, I will tell Mikoto to look after the kids.  
\- Mom? What happened? – The confused boy put down the pan before it could fall from his hand. He had a bad feeling squeezing his chest looking on the concerned expression on his mother’s face.  
\- Your friend had a seizure; he is in the surgery right now. His brother called, because their mother thought you would want to be there. Yuu, I am sorry, but it doesn't look goof for him...


	4. 4: (Not) Just friends

The world felt like it has stopped and then restarted moving in the wrong way. Everything was wrong.  
Nishinoya was in the hospital ward for hours now.  
He stopped caring about good manners long time ago, so he pulled his knees to his chest on the uncomfortable white plastic chair. The sleeves of the sweatshirt he put on in hurry got loose from hours spent fidgeting with them, but it didn’t look like it will end soon, although time-to time the libero’s mom gave him an unappreciative look.  
Opposite to them were the agonized members of Azumane family. The mother of the injured boy sat cross-legged with a toddler in her lap, she was nursing the little boy to sleep with a forced smile on her face, mumbling something that sounded like a lullaby. She seemed paler and more tired than before, her cheeks fall-in, the familiar brown eyes were surrendered with red and puffed eyelids. There was line of partly removed makeup in the corner of her cheeks. She pulled her hair in a messy bun that was barely enough to keep the long brown locks away from the child.  
Right next to her was her oldest son, Mino. There was nothing left from his previous happy and teasing appearance, his fingers were almost white from the strength he was grabbing on his own knees, and Nishinoya would swear that from the spot he was sitting he still heard sometimes the man’s teeth crunching against each other from the tension in his jaw.  
A young woman, probably his wife, with black short hair, black eyes and pale skin, typical Asian beauty, was trying to calm him down, while keeping an eye on an older kid playing on her phone. She was thin and short, not as short as Nishinoya’s mom, but she still looked like a doll next to her enormous husband.  
\- How long will you pretend you can’t see us? – Daichi sighted. He was standing next to his teammate patiently for nearly half hour now – Don’t be childish. We all are here for Asahi, and because we love him.  
\- I know – Nishinoya mumbled to himself, still refusing to look on the captain. He couldn’t forget or forgive the things they said this morning.  
The captain and Sugawara arrived last to the waiting crowd, and while Daichi tried to maintain a conversation with Noya, Sugawara was bringing coffee and snack to everyone from the close vending machine. It looked like being responsible for something and having a purpose helped him to not fall back into a crying mess he was since the moment his father told him the news.  
Daichi silently asked for a few minutes he could talk with the libero without his mother there.  
\- I should go home anyway, and change place with Yuu’s father. He is the worst in tucking the kids in the bed, not to mention their lunch for tomorrow won’t prepare itself – she ruffled her son’s hair, but then leaned closer so only he could hear what she had to say – Are you alright? Dad will be there in a few minutes.  As soon as you know something tell me. I will pray for him, okay?  
When Nishinoya agreed, she gave him a loving kiss on his forehead.  
\- You are a strong boy, whatever happens – the woman added, then left the hospital in hurry, her long green coat waving behind her.  
\- Look, everyone is worried and frustrated, and everyone deals with it in different ways – Daichi sat on the plastic chair next to him - You know, at first Koushi tried to look on the situation like you did, but his father talked to him and explained things. He talked about the worst situations. Dr. Sugawara is a really pessimistic man, and I think that conversation broke something in Koushi. He was never in a situation like this, his grandparents are all still alive, no one had a serious injury or died before that in their family, so he has no idea how to deal with those stuffs. Please be patient.  
Nishinoya didn’t answer, just nodded. He barely knew anything about the private lives of the third years, but he heard some rumors about Daichi being raised by his aunt and uncle because his parents died in a car crash when he was just a child, so if somebody then he understood the seriousness of the situation.  
\- You still want to skip practice?   
Another nod.  
\- I can’t make you stay against your own will, but Noya… You have talent. Promise me, whatever happens you will rejoin the team after we graduate. It is about your whole future, you can make a carrier from it. And just imagine how pissed will Asahi be if he finds out that you left volleyball.  
The libero winced.  
\- I will try, I can’t promise I could do it – he answered, a strange feeling appeared in his chest as he thought about Asahi being pissed off, every cell in his body opposed to the unnatural picture - But he wouldn’t be angry...  
\- You are right – Daichi smiled a little- He never gets angry, especially not on you.  
\- What do you mean by that?  
\- Are you alright? Need something? – The vice captain interrupted their conversation.  
\- Everything is perfect, sit down a little – Daichi pulled him on the third chair next to them, and Sugawara obeyed him, his head fell on the black haired boy’s shoulder with exhaustion.  
\- Kou-san is still not here – he mentioned tiredly, just to say something.  
\- Maria is in the ninth month of her pregnancy with the twins and they are with her parents in England right now, it could be quite difficult for them to come, but I am sure they are trying – his classmate reminded the silver haired boy.  
\- I know, but still…  
\- Who is Kou? – Nishinoya asked them curiously.  
\- Oh? – Sugawara looked up on him – You don’t really know Asahi’s family, right?  
This question left a bitter taste in the short boy’s mouth. He knew nothing about Asahi’s family before the accident; he was not part of the spiker’s life outside of the volleyball court. He knew nothing. He was nothing. What right he had to be there? To act like he was important for him?  
\-  Kou-san is Asahi’s other brother - Daichi explained - he is younger than Mino but still a lot older than Asahi. He will probably give you a hard time when he arrives.  
\- Why? – He was now clearly confused – Did he gave a hard time for you too?  
\- No, never. But you are different, they heard too much about you. He just wants the best for Asahi, he feels like he is responsible for him – the vice captain said while sitting up properly, but staying enough close to Daichi so their shoulders could touch.  
\- They heard? – The pressure on the libero’s chest increased – You mean because of our fight? I behaved awful! Do they know about it?  
\- Take it easy – Sugawara smiled on him reassuringly – Asahi tells everything to his family, but I believe his behavior will be more because Kou thinks he has to take over the father’s place.  
\- What’s with their father? – an uneasy feeling settled more and more as Nishinoya realized how little did he really knew about the boy he claimed to love.  
\- He died – Daichi added, but before Nishinoya could ask any further or apology for bringing it up, he continued – It was a long time ago, I think Asahi was only 5, and it was a natural death, he was older than his wife for approximately twenty-five years if I remember correctly, and even she was quite old when Asahi came in the picture. The father had a known heart disease for years. It is not a big trauma, Asahi barely remembers him, and the others accepted it peacefully.  
Suga gave Nishinoya a tired smile, some of his old teasing behavior returned.  
\- Don’t think that only because Asahi doesn’t have a real father it will be easier for you, he has two really good replacements. Kou is the strict, Mino is the cool father, but I am sure you should fear Mino more if you ever mistreat their precious Asa-chan.  
A red color spread across Nishinoya’s face.  
\- I don’t know what you are talking about… I don’t… I… - he stuttered.  
Sugawara stood up to face Nishinoya properly, with one hand correcting the blue scarf around his neck.  
His eyes were kind, but worried, full of the sadness he experienced in the previous days. Asahi was the closest thing he had to a brother, losing him will be like losing part of his own being.  
\- If Asahi… - Suga quickly corrected himself, avoiding more arguing – When Asahi wakes up, tell him as soon as you can.  
Nishinoya didn’t even try to deny his feelings anymore. It was more than obvious that both upperclassmen figured out the reasons behind his behavior. He would have liked to ask more about it, maybe ask if Asahi knew too, or what he thought about him, but his father arrived so those types of conversations had to end.  
  
  
It was over 2 am when finally three surgeons showed up. None from the Azumane family could sleep from the fear of losing the youngest brother, except the two kids who whit their young age didn’t really understand what is going on. Their parents happily accepted Mikoto’s offer, so the two little boys spent the night with Nishinoya’s similar aged siblings, while his mom took care of them. There won’t be a problem, both of them, Yume, the younger, four year old boy, and Tome, the with his six years were really lovely and friendly with everyone they met.  
One of the surgeons Nishinoya already recognized as Suga’s father, he gave a quick glance to his son, who was sleeping curled up to Daichi’s side until now.  
The doctors went straight to the family. The three volleyball players, and the libero’s parent stayed on their part of the ward, everyone felt that this conversation was meant only for the closest relatives.  
After some time of talking with emotionless and serious faces, Mrs. Azumane gesticulated in the way of his son’s friends.  
Nishinoya heard the blood pumping in his ear.  
She wasn’t crying it is a good sign, obviously, wasn’t it?  
Dr. Sugawara headed to them, his face was stern, but the exhaustion from the hours in the operating room could have been clearly seen.  
Nishinoya felt a salty, metallic taste and only then realized that he bit his lips too hard, little drops of blood left the small wound. His father squeezed the libero’s shoulder and then left his hand there as a kind of emotional support.  
The surgeon’s eyes stayed on the young boy with the same silver hair as he had.  
\- The patient’s mother asked us to inform you too about your friend’s status. He is stable for now.  
The same relieved sight left all of the boys, who didn’t even realized, that they hold their breath until now.  
\- But there were some complications during the surgery; your friend had a massive bleeding. We managed to stop it, but we couldn’t save the liver and the low blood pressure damaged his kidneys, this is the smaller problem. There is a chance his kidney would restart or in the worst case he can have hemodialysis. Right now the major problem is the liver; he needs a transplant very soon. He is already on list, but his status is… quite bad. There is a high risk he wouldn’t wake up even if he gets the organ in time. Our best chance is direct donation from somebody. We will test his family members and hope that there is match. Do you have any questions?  
\- What if there is no match? – The silver haired boy’s voice broke mid-sentence.  
The doctor’s face twitched in an effort to stay professional, but for a moment under the façade of neutral helper there could have been seen the sympathy and his urge to comfort his only son. Not just that, he knew Asahi, the gentle and somewhat coward boy. The three friends from the volleyball club spent countless sleepovers in Sugawara house. The brunette giant slowly grew more comfortable and in the last year he even started to use their kitchen to bake for his friends. The surgeon and his wife after their bad first impression (he really had a look of a hooligan) started to like him and his good manners were definitely positive impact on their loud son.  
\- We will do everything we can, but you have to understand...  
\- Test me too!    
A highly pitched, but loud voice interrupted the surgeon’s speech, causing everyone to look on the shortest person in the room. Nishinoya.  
\- Pardon? – Dr. Sugawara looked on the boy uncomprehending the situation, just as everyone else in the ward.  
\- Just do the test on me too, maybe I am a match. More people better are the chances!  
The libero’s nails dug in his palm as he clinched his hand in a fist, unsuccessful attempt to control his emotions.  
\- It is a big surgery, and I am afraid you are underage, so we need your parents consent…  
\- They will! Right dad?  
The man looked startled on his son. They talked about a major surgery, without any benefit for his firstborn, putting him in a risk, but just a few meters away stood a mother with unreadable expression whose child’s life could depend on it. It wasn’t a decision to make in a few minutes.  
\- I don’t know, we need to talk with your mum…  
\- Dad, it is not the surgery. Just a test, it is nothing big. If it comes back positive we still could talk about it. But I have to know! I can’t let anything bad happen to Asahi-san anymore, I promised him I will always have his back. I would never forgive myself if I wouldn’t try it. Just a test, please!  
Nishinoya was on the edge of crying again, and he didn’t even realize that he was shouting from the feelings rushing against him.  
\- The test. I think it couldn’t be a problem… - his father mumbled.  
\- Alright, you will have to sign some papers – an old doctor with glasses waved to Mikoto to follow him, and then spoke a little louder to a nurse who was standing near waiting for the family members – Please, take sample of the boy’s blood too when you are doing the family.  
Daichi and Sugawara looked on each other, and seemingly only with eyes got to a decision, but as soon as the vice-captain opened his mouth his father shook his head.  
\- Don’t even consider. I won’t approve you going under knife, and even if I did, I already took a look on it, Azumane-kun has different blood type than you. And you, young man, your parents aren’t event there.  
The silver haired boy nodded, but couldn’t help the feeling of uselessness spreading in his chest.  
Daichi sensed it, so he gave a supportive stroke to his back, as he got his phone in the other hand. The captain took a quick look on it as he opened the group chat of the volleyball team. He wrote down in few short sentences about what they knew and that Asahi is stable for now. A warm feeling appeared in him as in few minutes everyone saw the message.  
There wasn’t any reply, but it was clear that every single teammate waited for information and didn’t go to sleep until they knew if their Ace came out of the operation room.  
 He glanced on the hour. 2:27 am. The captain wrote another message before putting his phone back in his pocket.  
“No training tomorrow morning, everyone needs sleep.”  
  
  
An hour later they were waiting in one of the intensive care hospital rooms for the results and for Asahi. They were allowed to see him for a few minutes when he will be placed there.  
First a male nurse stepped in with a doctor and quite few papers. Her long brown hair was in a messy braid, making it even worse as she anxiously played with the end of it. She must have been new, considered her young appearance and that she couldn’t maintain the neutral behavior.  
\- We got the results – she said with slow voice, looking in the eyes of the old woman opposite to her – And I am afraid there wasn’t any match.  
\- I see. And what now?  
The young doctor averted her eyes.  
\- We are waiting for a miracle.  
The information didn’t even have time to sink in when the door opened again and two nurses pushed in a hospital bed.  
Nishinoya’s stomach twisted in his abdomen. While everyone focused on the almost unrecognizable body hooked up to all sorts of machines and tube, he just couldn’t see his love in a state like that, it made him nauseas. So instead he looked on the family around him.  
 He saw the light leave the mother’s eyes as she watched her motionless son laying there, after they found out she couldn’t help in the only way that would matter.  
He saw Asahi’s brother, his happy and joking brother; break down crying as he held onto his wife.

 

 

_Nishinoya knew that he can't back out now, not after a few rounds before the bottle landed on Yamaguchi and not even mentioning that he got a boy slammed his mouth on his so fast and hard that their tooth crashed together. Poor boy still mumbled incoherent words while hiding behind Tsukishima._   
_Whose goddamn idea even was this stupid game?_   
_If he clearly remembered, Aihara-san, the girl’s vice captain and ace was the one who brought up to play spin the bottle, and of course Tanaka got hyped up about it instantly._   
_To both teams biggest surprise even the two captains, Daichi-san and Michimiya-san agreed to it. After all something like this could have been expected since the day the girl’s and the boy’s volleyball team agreed to have a match with mixed teams and then some kind of celebration that they finished their pre-summer exams._   
_The libero quickly glanced around on everyone until his eyes met Asahi’s._   
_Nishinoya still remembered the way Tanaka made him admit his crush on the Ace, the question about his eyes. The same eyes that shined down on him, now darker than ever before, in the poorly lit room. Dark eyes should definitely get more credit, the kind of eyes that weren’t boring amber like the libero’s or weren’t blue as the ocean, didn’t have the green shade of the late summer’s grass, but the ones that are dark, absorbing all of the light. He felt like he could get lost in those eyes, but still it wasn’t the thing that made the short boys heart flatter._   
_Those were just eyes, he was more interested in the small stain of ink in the left corner of his jaw, the one even Asahi didn’t knew how landed there but nobody mentioned, probably didn’t even saw it before. Nishinoya observed the heavy bags under his eyes showing how anxious he was because of their exams, so he didn’t sleep properly for days. The libero took a minute to inspect Asahi’s long hair, uncut for years, which right now framed his face with ruffled waves. Finally Nishinoya had a moment to catch the sight of the way the ace’s face became flushed with pink while he averted his eyes._

_Nishinoya allowed himself a quick glance on the spiker’s full lips. He was chewing the bottom unconsciously, but they looked smooth, and warm. They looked inviting, ready for a kiss._

_\- Looks like Azumane-san has a good luck for liberos – Yui teased them._   
_\- It will be like I am getting an indirect kiss from Watabe-san – Nishinoya gave a wide grin for the girl’s libero, who placed a shy peck on Asahi’s mouth just a few moments before, and now sat blushing next to her captain._   
_\- But you will still kiss Asahi, so just get to the business – Suga winked on Nishinoya with smug face._   
_The libero’s heart skipped a beat. Suga knows? Was he too obvious?_   
_\- Bro … - Tanaka warned him in low voice, since his procrastination was already suspicious for everyone. Especially for Asahi, who understood it in a wrong way and now looked like he is near tears and already planning to run off._

_Nishinoya approached the muscular boy in the other side of the circle, and sat on his knees before him, just barely close enough so they could reach each other. He felt his heart pounding in his throat, and just hoped the other couldn’t hear it. Against his own wish his face was heated up from the blood rushing there. Right now looking Asahi in his eyes seemed like an impossible task._   
_\- I know it is not ideal, I am sorry – the shorter male mumbled audible just for the third year sitting opposite to him._   
_\- It’s alright – the giant cupped Nishinoya’s cheek in an odd attempt to calm him. This move was so real, it wasn’t forced on them by a stupid game, it was really Asahi touching him, and so it just made everything worse._

_Asahi leaned closer, his hand still holding Nishinoya’s face, but stopped halfway, leaving the chance for the libero to decide what kind of kiss it will be._

_Oh fuck, he was gorgeous, and Nishinoya was painfully aware that he could just give him a peck on those delicious looking lips. He totally should have given just a peck. But this was an opportunity he will never get again probably, so when he finally felt Asahi’s breath against his skin, and tasted him for the first time, he couldn’t make himself to back off. The libero locked his mouth on Asahi’s, leaning into a kiss, and after a really embarrassing moment the long haired brunette returned it._

_Nishinoya couldn’t control himself, he raised up and get closer to Asahi, never breaking the kiss, until he was kneeling between the spiker’s legs, stretching himself as high as he could, and Asahi almost unconsciously embraced the libero’s waist with his free hand._  
 _The ace tasted like menthol from the chewing gum he had after the pizza, and from that close Nishinoya could sense the citric smell from his shampoo._  
 _Asahi shifted his weight to reach the younger boy’s mouth better and damn… the muscles under Nishinoya’s hand moved in so beautiful way, that there was no way in stopping himself to dig his fingers into them. Exactly when did his hand even landed on Asahi’s neck?_  
 _The taller boy wasn’t prepared for the sudden sensation, but there was something really sensual in it that made him react from his instincts._  
 _At the moment Asahi’s teeth made a contact with Nishinoya’s lower lip, he was lost; he opened his mouth to give Asahi a permission to deepen the kiss._  
 _Nishinoya could already feel Asahi’s tongue drift into the cave between his lips when a loud cheering around them broke the moment._  
 _\- I think they won the game – Yui laughed, and everyone clapped around them, what made Asahi to pull away and turn into a blushing mess, unable to even look Nishinoya in the eyes, not just during this night, but he even avoided him for few days._  
 _Nishinoya still just sat at the same point, looking stunned after the older boy who was taken away by other third years._  
 _\- Man, that was intense – Tanaka crashed next to him on the floor – You two looked like you were about to get to more than just the first base. Even I felt uncomfortable!_  
 _Nishinoya didn’t need to hear that, he was already painfully aware what he did, and the increased pressure in his jeans only reminded him on it even more._  
 _\- Ryuu. I fucked up – Nishinoya let his head fall on his best friend’s shoulder- Was I too much? Yeah, I was definitely too much… Do you think he found out that I am bi? Is he disgusted?_  
 _\- Bro, he looked like he was just about to pick you up and take you to the bedroom. I would swear he swings at least a little if not completely in the other way than girls._  
 _\- I hope I didn’t freak him out…_  
 _\- Calm down – an evil smirk spread on the bald boy’s face - Oh, and I have pictures!_  


Nishinoya skipped the next day of school too, he was too exhausted both mentally and physically to even move himself, after they arrived home at dawn.  
 When he woke up around noon and finally collected enough energy to actually leave his room, his stomach reminded him that he had skipped quite few meals in the last day.  
He stepped in their living room still half asleep, wearing only an underwear, but instantly regretted it as he met six pairs of eyes looking at him, and none of it was his parent’s.  
\- I am sorry!  
Nishinoya have never fled back in his room so fast like now.  
When he reappeared wearing more acceptable clothing he finally took a moment to think about the fact, that he had absolutely no clue why was Asahi’s mom sitting in their sofa watching over her own two grandkids and the three siblings of the libero, while they were gazing on the television, without any sign of their parents.  
\- Don’t be so surprised. Your mother allowed a day off for your siblings too since they didn’t slept very well either, but she had to go to work just as your father. Yume and Tome wanted to stay there too, I am retired, so it was a practical solution – the women explained without skipping a beat – Do you want to eat something? I can make some lunch or breakfast.  
There was something odd in her voice, like she was a little absent from the situation, but she looked better than yesterday.  
\- What’s with Asahi-san? – Nishinoya was still confused about the whole situation.  
A little, but honest smile appeared on the woman’s lips, her eyes averted somewhere in the distance behind the boy.  
\- We can’t visit him now; he got immune suppressants to prepare him for the surgery.  
\- Surgery?  
Again? Did he have a seizure? Is he in worse state?  
Nishinoya gasped for air as the panic took over his mind.  
\- That is a good thing. The hospital got the data from Kou’s blood, he is a match. He is already on the way there. It is not guaranteed that he can undergo to the donation, there will be lots of examination, but still… it is a chance!  
The short boy couldn’t help himself as a wide grin took over his facial expression. Asahi will get a liver! He will be alright!  
He didn’t want to admit even for himself but after the last night even he started to lose his hope.  
\- Come, I will make you something to eat – the woman stood up.  
It didn’t skip Nishinoya’s attention how familiar she acted in a situation, didn’t even shove a sign that she is in this house for the first time.  
As soon as the door of the kitchen closed behind them she started to look for ingredients.  
\- I can make myself a sandwich – the libero opposed.  
\- We can make it together; the kids need something to eat too. Can you bring here the plates? I don’t know where they are.  
The brunette boy did as he was told, while she continued in easy tone, just as they were chatting about the weather.  
\- So, Nishinoya-kun? You have feelings for my son, right?  
A ceramic plate shattered on the floor.  
\- God, are you alright?  
Nishinoya’s fingers went numb as he looked on the woman with fear. His arms crossed around his torso unconsciously.  
\- I …!  
\- Don’t deny it, I saw what I saw…  
\- I… I am sorry. I know I am a boy and that it gross… -  he mumbled.  
It was one thing to talk about it to his best friend, or that Daichi and Suga found out. But his parents? Asahi’s parents? It was a whole different situation.  
\- Stop it. Now – Mrs. Azumane’s voice was stirct – You can’t talk like this in my presents. I have a gay son, and I couldn’t be prouder of him.  
\- Oh…  
The brunette woman waited with a smug face while she gave a few minutes for the libero to think about it. Slowly the picture got together for him too. The two older brothers were married.  
\- OH!  
\- Actually it is good to see that there is someone who cares about him so much – she said with a sad smile as she kneeled down to pick up what was left from the plate – You two… you were together? Asahi usually told me everything, but never mentioned that you had feelings for him, and if I remember clearly he spent there some nights in the last half year.  
Nishinoya automatically joined her in cleaning up his mess.  
\- No, there was nothing like that – he felt sentimental as he called back the picture of the older boy – We aren’t on the same level. He is so tall and muscular, his hair is so fluffy, but he is really kind too and so good in nearly everything. He is truly amazing! He would never date someone like me. I can be really loud and annoying.  
\- Loud, yes – she answered looking the short boy in his eye – But he thought you are amazing since the first time you met.  
\- Really? – The libero’s eyes sparkled up.  
\- Look, if everything goes right you two can talk about it. Just give him time, he is really shy and probably will be confused too. When he wakes up there is going to be a lot of stuffs to deal with. Oh, and tell me one more thing. Do your parents know about your orientation?  
Nishinoya averted his look once again.  
\- No, not really.  
\- That’s alright, kid – she stood up with the ruins of ceramic – But you should tell them as soon as you are ready.  
After some silence Nishinoya felt something being pushed in his hand.  
\- What is it? – He observed the black box with broken screen.  
\- Asahi’s phone. I thought you may want to look in it while I am finishing the food.  
Nishinoya was more than thankful to the woman.  
There was a small paper stuck on the back of the mobile.  
  
Password: 0101034  
  
The libero pressed the side button and as soon as it lit up, he typed in the code.  
One glance on the background was enough to take away his breath. It was him, from a quite bad angle, but clearly him. His face was redder than normally and a just little darker skinned hand, Asahi’s hand, cupped his face. His eyes were averted, but there was a smile around his lips. He looked shy. Clearly not something that appeared frequently.  
Nishinoya remembered this moment, it was THAT evening. The spin-the-bottle-evening. He had a picture under his bed, where they were kissing and hugging each other, this background was a more innocent version of it, a moment before, but it had definitely the same meaning for someone who knew the story. This was a memory of their kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it took so much time, but i had some things i had to deal with IRL. I still didn't solve all of them, but i am trying. Thank you for your patience.  
> Oh, by the way, is there someone who gets why is this Asahi's password? I like to overthink things.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!


End file.
